Soundtrack of Our Lives
by Bandit's Girl
Summary: Rosalie is buying seemingly random CD's for everyone. Some songs are practically the story of their lives...Collection of songfics of sorts, various characters. COMPLETE.
1. Addiction

**This is a collection of Twilight songfics, from various perspectives. I have no idea how many there will be, when I will post them, or when it will end. **

**Anywho, this is the first of the collection. Edward introspective. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight...then I would be rich and not writing fanfiction. If I owned Better than Drugs, I would be doubly rich and writing songs, not fanfiction. So, since I write fanfiction, I clearly own neither object. **

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**Addiction**

I'll listen to anything once. When you have an eternity to find good music, listening to a CD once isn't that much of a sacrifice, anyway. This particular CD was somewhat intriguing, being as I had somehow never heard of the group. How Rosalie had settled on it was still strange. What she said and what I found her to be thinking were the same: that she had wanted to buy me something and just randomly picked a CD. Thanks, Rose.

Skillet… I racked my brain for any possible knowledge of them. When I came up empty, I gave in and put the CD in the player. I decided that, since I didn't know how this CD would be, I would make myself busy organizing my other new CDs while listening. My mistake.

In my distraction, I forgot that my sound system was set on shuffle. So I didn't even get the three preceding songs before the one that stopped me dead in my tracks. Granted, I missed the first bit, but it still grabbed my attention. I hurriedly started the song over, listening more intently.

_Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you on these empty nights  
Calm the ache, stop the shakes  
You clear my mind  
You're my escape  
From this messed up place  
'Cause you let me forget  
You numb my pain  
_

I was blown away by the song. At that point, I could only stare at the system and absorb the lyrics, too stunned to do anything more.

_  
How can I tell you just all that you are  
What you do to me _

You're better than drugs  
Your love is like wine  
Feel you coming on so fast  
Feel you coming to get me high  
You're better than drugs  
Addicted for life  
Feel you coming on so fast  
Feel you coming on to get me high  


All of a sudden, the thoughts that seemed to have entirely vanished with the lyrics suddenly flooded my brain. Did these Skillet people somehow manage to watch me? Because this song was…it was essentially my thoughts, if they were to be made into a song.

_  
Feel you when I'm restless  
Feel you when I cannot cope  
You're my addiction, my prescription, my antidote  
You kill the poison  
Ease the suffering  
Calm the rage when I'm afraid  
To feel again  
_

_How can I tell you just all that you are  
What you do to me  
_

I couldn't believe how incredibly accurate this song is. How it made perfect sense. Bella was essentially my drug of the song (I do remember telling her once that she was my brand of heroin…was I perhaps tempting fate to hand me this song?). It wasn't just the fact that, as a vampire, her blood tempted me. Her very presence was enough to make me feel…high, I suppose.

_You're better than drugs  
Your love is like wine  
Feel you coming on so fast  
Feel you coming to get me high  
You're better than drugs  
Addicted for life  
Feel you coming on so fast  
Feel you coming on to get me high_

_How can I tell you just all that you are_

_What you do to me_

_  
Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you on these empty nights  
You're the strength of my life  
_

Oh, the truth of it all. Bella, the one person I shouldn't be around, was my life (or whatever it is that vampires have). Her existence was enough to keep me going. Every moment I spent with her was better than the last; any time we spent apart, I was thinking of her. At least I admit that I'm addicted to my girlfriend. And again, this song must have been inspired by our relationship; I can't see how else it would exist.

Was she aware of this song? I wasn't sure whether I would want to share it; we may have shared most of our lives with one another, but this deep feeling of mine was something I wasn't entirely sure of. Not that I didn't know my own mind; that I knew. I just didn't want to scare Bella. It did take me up until now to come to terms with my feelings, though, so maybe she knew.

_  
You're better than drugs  
Your love is like wine  
Feel you coming on so fast  
Feel you coming to get me high  
You're better than drugs  
Addicted for life  
Feel you coming on so fast  
Feel you coming on to get me high_

_Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you on these empty nights _

_Feel you coming on so fast_

_Feel you coming on to get me high  
Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you on these empty nights _

_Feel you coming on so fast_

_Feel you coming on to get me high_

I sank onto the couch after stopping the music. The rest of the CD could wait until later. After all, if any of the other songs were as psychic as this one, I needed time to reorganize my thoughts first. One was quite clear, however.

I have to remember to go shopping with Rosalie next time: I want more of this.

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**So, what do you think? Kiowa loves reviews...also, ideas for characters/songs would be considered, provided I have the song, so suggest away!**


	2. Just a Dream?

**I said it would be up soon, and indeed here it is! The next songfic in the collection.**

**Disclaimer: Since yesterday, I not only managed to buy Twilight, but also Lion. Just kidding. Stephenie Meyer still owns the books and Rebecca St. James owns the song.**

**Dedicated to: the amazing Di, who gave me the song and got me addicted to the books in the first place.**

* * *

**Just a Dream?**

I guess I was a bit more prepared than he had been, since he had warned me about Rosalie's sudden need to buy CD's for everyone. Edward said that his had been some random group, but he actually liked the songs. So I guess I was optimistic about this CD.

Although, I wasn't sure what songs inspired by a movie I had never seen would be like. But Rosalie was obviously trying, so I gave it a shot.

_Mysterious  
__That's what I call you  
__I'm curious about you  
__I'm scared and I'm not sure that you are safe  
__But your eyes seem to say that you are good_

It was a really pretty song. I liked it from the very first melody. And fortunately, the lyrics were understandable. But then my hyperactive brain started overanalyzing the lyrics.

'He wasn't safe, not at first. He wanted to kill you, for crying out loud. But you fell for him, choosing to believe that he was good. You're pathetic, and you're just letting his eyes lure you into loving him and…'

I shut my opinionated and very wrong brain up.

_This is not a dream that I'm living  
This is just a world of your own  
You took me from all that I knew  
Shown me how it feels to hope  
With you with me, facing tomorrow together  
I can learn to fly  
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is an angel_

But really, how many times does the human fall in love with the vampire and live? We both know I shouldn't have made it this long anyway. But because of him, I have. He likes to act like he's so dangerous for me, when in truth, he's kept me alive. Everything he does is for me. He seems like a god sometimes.

_  
Wise eyes, you see the core of me  
Your gentleness melts me  
And now I know that words cannot describe  
The power that I feel when I'm with you  
_

His strength overwhelms me. How he can be so amazingly gifted is beyond me. In his own words, he could kill me without trying. But he contains himself, makes me feel so safe with him. It's almost hard to believe that he could possibly be so strong when he's so amazingly gentle with me.

_  
This is not a dream that I'm living  
This is just a world of your own  
You took me from all that I knew  
Shown me how it feels to hope  
With you with me, facing tomorrow together  
I can learn to fly  
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is_

Peace and power, love forever  
Who am I to stand before you?  
I am speechless  
But in my weakness  
You are here and all is well  


So I'm in awe of my boyfriend. I admit it. His grace, his beauty, his everything has me spellbound. I don't want to look away. I don't want to be away from him. I just can't deal with that.

He's my angel, my savior.

_  
You took me from all that I knew  
Shown me how it feels to hope  
With you with me, facing tomorrow together  
I can learn to fly  
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is an angel  
_

I feel like…with Edward, anything is possible. But then again, I would never have believed that vampires even existed prior to meeting him, so I guess anything is possible. It's hard to believe that this isn't some amazing dream. And even if it is…

I never want to wake up.  
_  
__This is not a dream that I'm living  
This is just a world of your own  
You took me from all that I knew  
Shown me how it feels to hope  
With you with me, facing tomorrow together  
I can learn to fly  
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is an angel_

_I__s an angel_

I have got to remember to thank Rosalie for this song.

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**I like this one, it was easier to write. What do you think?**

**I have no idea when the next one is coming up. I have one idea, but I really want to write Jasper. So, we'll see what happens. No worries, there is more coming, just no idea when.**


	3. All I Need

**I know, this took longer than the other two. With all my stress and homework and stuff, I needed some time. Plus, this one was harder to start. But I love it. It turned out way different than I intended it to, but much better, I think. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight, no matter how many times I read it. And Skillet still owns Cycle Down, even though I listened to it at least 20 times while writing this.

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**

All I Need 

I wasn't terribly surprised to see the CD's sitting on the desk in our room. Rosalie had been buying them for everyone with absolutely no chance of stopping. Or reason, apparently. Edward had warned me there must have been some kind of reason. I couldn't believe that. It's Rosalie, I mean. Since when did she have some kind of hidden agenda?

Besides that, I don't listen to music. So why on earth would she buy me a CD? I was about to ignore them when Alice poked her head in. She was grinning madly; something she had seen had clearly made her very happy.

"Look at the CD's!" she said, almost commanding me to. I picked them up; the note on the first one blew me away. It said, quite clearly, _Jasper_. Alright, not that shocking of content, but I wasn't expecting it. I looked at Alice, a frown already forming on my face. She was undeterred.

"Listen to track 11, will you?" And with that, she danced away. I was puzzled. Why on earth would Rosalie buy me a CD? Beyond that, why would it be so important that I hear that song? Alice must have seen something about my reaction to it…I sighed. What choice did I really have here? I would listen to it, regardless, since she had seen it.

Into the small CD player went the CD. I pressed the skip button backwards once, then play. It would work, I was sure. Indeed it did, and the music burst out of the speakers. (Really, it burst out. There wasn't a nice, easy start. It just came flying out, practically assaulting my ears.)

_Crashing, covered with debris  
Dwelling in my own pity  
Cry like I have not  
Dig like I had not  
I start to claw  
Gotta get outta here  
I've got to, gotta get out  
_

After getting over the rough start, the lyrics hit me. I sank to the floor, staring at the CD case in my hands. _Please tell me this is not why Alice wanted me to listen to the song,_ I thought somewhat frantically. Reliving my past was not what I wanted out of a song I was (almost) being forced to listen to against my will.

_  
I am, I am, I am on a higher ground  
You are, you are my cure from the cycle down  
__I am, I am, I am on a higher ground  
You are, you are my cure from the cycle down _

Sinking in a sea of self  
Deception never sold so well  
Regret like I have not  
Pain like I don't want  
I start to claw  
Gotta get outta here  
I've got to, gotta get out  


The memories I tried so hard to block out on a regular basis were flying around my head, driving me slowly back to the dark depression. Somewhere in that mess, the CD case fell on the floor. I pressed my hands to my head, trying to stop the madness.

Songs were not supposed to be this depressing (of course, the people that wrote the song probably weren't counting on it being heard by a vampire with a dark past…). I was not supposed to remember that. It was supposed to stay buried, not come back to haunt me.

_  
I am, I am, I am on a higher ground  
You are, you are my cure from the cycle down  
__I am, I am, I am on a higher ground  
You are, you are my cure from the cycle down _

Down  
_Down  
__Down _

I'm so cold and I wonder  
How'd I make it this long without you  
Pull me out, out from under  
On the cycle back to you  


And then I realized why Alice wanted me to listen, what she must have seen (she would never have subjected me to the torment my past caused me intentionally). From the depths of my pain, she had saved me. In my deluded insanity, she was (and of course, still is) the voice of reason. Though I had never known it, she was the missing piece in my eternal existence.

_  
I am, I am, I am on a higher ground  
You are, you are my cure from the cycle down  
__I am, I am, I am on a higher ground  
You are, you are my cure from the cycle down  
_

As I fell down, she picked me up. I rely on Alice to keep me sane. Without her, I would have ruined myself and essentially ruined all of us.

I was entirely unprepared for this one song to evoke such deep thought, especially along the lines that it did. I was hardly aware of the song nearing its end. If only I could change my own mood like I could others'…

_Down  
__Down  
__Down_

The song ended. I was surprised to feel like I couldn't move from where I was sitting. My sudden revelation seemed to leave me unable to do anything, let alone get up and stop the CD. The first song started, but I couldn't follow it. I managed to lie back as I tried to reorganize my thoughts.

The music stopped and the case left its position by my leg. A few clicks and snaps later, and I knew Alice had finished putting it away. She laid next to me and put her hand on my arm.

I didn't need to hide from my past. All I needed was Alice, and everything would be okay.

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**So, thoughts? Reviews? Kiowa loves to hear from you. She also loves talking in the third person randomly. She's still willing to consider requests, especially since she's not sure what's coming next. And she still doesn't know when. **


	4. Unsaid

**Ugh, I know it's been 10 days since the last chapter. I'm really sorry, guys. I got wrapped up in school crap and everything else, and I didn't get an idea that grabbed me by the hair and screamed "WRITE ME" so nothing happened. **

**However, thanks to my new CD, I had an idea and therefore, a new songfic! **

**This one picks up where All I Need left off. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight. And while I own a copy of the CD _Reason EP_, the Fray still owns the song "Unsaid." (even though I LOVE both the Fray and Unsaid)**

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**Unsaid**

I hadn't seen that coming, which was rather strange. I guess that, because I made him listen to that one song before the rest, my vision became wrong. Very strange. But once it changed, I knew he would need me. I always knew that.

We lost track of time on the floor. At some point, we shifted so I was laying in his arms. It wasn't about anything, just being with each other. I could feel him calming down (it had taken all my strength to stay in one piece for him, what with his emotions being all over the place).

After a bit, Jasper was calm again and I was growing even more curious about my CD. Rosalie's CDs had had great impact on all of us. Jasper sensed my curiosity and released me reluctantly from his arms. I'll admit, I didn't really want to move either. But I bounced over to the CD player and opened my new CD.

_Reason EP_ by the Fray. I blinked, confused. Edward was the one with the varied musical taste that would like alternative rock like the Fray. I couldn't see my own reactions that well yet. One song jumped out at me, so I put the CD in and skipped back to "Unsaid." While I did that, Jasper sat up and watched me. I could feel him watching.

Once the play button was pressed, I danced back and sat next to Jasper. He wrapped an arm around me and I leaned on him. We listened, me with unmaskable curiosity and him with guarded feelings. Not that I could blame him, even if I wanted to or if he deserved it.

_Not that you're the one  
Not to say I'm right  
Not to say today  
And not to say a thing tonight _

But suffice it to say  
We're leaving things unsaid  
We sing ourselves to sleep  
Watching the day lie down instead 

I felt Jasper tense up a bit as I smiled, listening to the song. He wanted to know how on earth this song about...whatever it was about (I haven't entirely figured it out yet) made me happy.

"Jasper, just listen to it." He rolled his eyes at me, but sighed resignedly. I could see (without even using my vision) that he would listen to it. 

And we are leaving some things unsaid  
And we are breathing deeper instead  


_We're both pretty sure  
Neither one can tell  
We seem difficult  
What we got is hard as hell  
_

Maybe I'm over thinking the lyrics. But honestly: difficult life? Hard as hell? Leaving things unsaid? Did the Fray have someone spy on Jasper and I, then write this song?  
_  
A hundred thousand words could not quite explain  
So I walk you to your car and we can talk it out in the rain  
__  
And we are leaving some things unsaid  
And we are breathing deeper instead  
And we are leaving some things unsaid  
_  
We never talk. We never needed to. Everything that needed saying we just knew. It wasn't something I thought about a lot, but between my visions and his power, we just knew things. Maybe we missed something. Maybe that wasn't important.  
_  
I can sing myself to sleep  
No more _

Not that you're the one  
Not to say I'm right  
Not to say today  
And not to say a thing tonight 

It wasn't about me. It wasn't about him. We didn't need to talk. We left plenty unsaid. Today, tonight, tomorrow. We would leave more things unsaid. But we never needed to talk. We just knew.

We left things unsaid.

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**So, what do you think? Worth the wait?**

**I think I'll do Emmett next. And Rosalie after that. And then maybe some more for each character. Whee! **


	5. Forgive Me?

**Here it is! My favorite songfic of the ones I've written yet. Plus, it has Forgiven in it. I love that song to death. Anywho, Emmett got the most love in reviews as far as suggestions. I seriously thought about them, but liked this song a lot better. I might still use your ideas, though, so go ahead and give me them!**

**Disclaimer: My name is Stephenie Meyer and I'm in the band Relient K. Just kidding. I do not own Twilight, nor do I own Forgiven (much as I love it).**

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I knew it was coming.

I mean, she bought Jasper a CD. _Jasper. _He doesn't even like music! I, on the other hand, do. Plus, I'm her husband. Like she'd buy everyone else CDs and not me.

Anyway, the CD sitting by the CD player made me so happy and I just had to play it right away. My Rosalie picked it out, and it was music, so of course I dropped everything to listen to it (which, in retrospect, might have been a bad idea. I was carrying some of Rosalie's new clothes. Oops).

I winced and hurried to pick those up while the CD started playing. Nice rock-ish type band, my favorite. I think that it was actually a religious group, not that that mattered. It was just an interesting thing to think of.

By the time the fifth song started, I had put all of Rosalie's clothes away and silently begged (in hopes that Edward might hear me) for Alice not to say anything. I'm sure she saw me doing that, so please _please_ PLEASE Alice, say nothing. Or I'm a dead man…vampire.

_Oh yes, I know this tension that you speak of  
We're in the palm of a hand making a fist  
It'd be best for one of us to speak up  
But we prefer to pretend it does not exist  
_

This song sounded promising. I sat on the chair nearest the stereo and listened.

_  
And you can't see past the blood on my hands  
_(Please tell me that's figurative blood)_  
To see that you've been aptly damned  
To fail and fail again _

Cause we're all guilty of the same things  
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through  
And I know that I have been forgiven  
And I just hope you can forgive me too  


The first thing I thought of was that I needed to save this to use next time I screwed up (which hopefully wasn't today) to apologize to Rose. Then I remembered that she had bought the CD. And judging by everyone else's reactions to their gifts, she had listened to it and picked it specifically for me. Oh. There goes that brilliant plan.

_  
So don't you dare blame me for  
Prying open the door  
That's unleashed the bitterness  
That's here in the midst of this  
Sometimes we live for no one but ourselves _

And what we've been striving for  
Has turned into nothing more  
Than bodies limp on the floor  
Victims of falling short  
We kiss goodbye the cheek of our true love 

All the things Rosalie had ever blamed me for (that were mostly, but not entirely, my fault) and I had protested….where has this song been all my life? Whenever Rose was that mad at me, we would be in our own little world, with nothing but her anger and my continual apologies. And when my apologies weren't enough…it was like we split up while she cooled down. I knew the torture would end eventually, but still, it was torture.

_And you can't see past the blood on my hands  
To see that you've been aptly damned  
To fail and fail again _

Cause we're all guilty of the same things  
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through  
And I know that I have been forgiven  
And I just hope you can forgive me too 

_You can forgive me too_

I've done a lot of stupid things in my…existence. Yeah, that. Everyone else always forgives me pretty fast; I just do stupid things. It always boils down to me begging for Rose's forgiveness and hoping she will forgive me.

But you know, I bet Rose does things that are 'stupid,' or that I should consider as such. I just don't care since I do that kind of stuff too. Maybe…maybe she should lighten up a bit. Maybe I should stop begging. If we all think the same thoughts, we must do the same things (or at least things with the same consequences), and therefore, I shouldn't get yelled at as often as I do.

I bet Rosalie doesn't buy it.

_And you can't see past the blood on my hands  
To see that you've been aptly damned  
To fail and fail again _

Cause we're all guilty of the same things  
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through  
And I know that I have been forgiven  
And I just hope you can forgive me too 

_You can forgive me too_

Uh oh. Rosalie's home. Please Alice, don't tell her…Crap. She told her. And she probably knows this song, so I can't even use that…I'm going to try. I can't stand it when she's mad at me.

_You can forgive me too_

Here she comes. Please, please, Rose, let me explain, I didn't mean to do it, you're the one who left the CD there for me –

I can't say that. She'll kill me.

_You can forgive me_

_You can forgive me_

So here I go, off to beg for forgiveness. But this time, I'm just going to state what happened and ask for forgiveness. Who knows, maybe it'll work?

_You can forgive me too_

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**So, what do you think? Kiowa loves to get reviews!**


	6. The RSVOH

**Wow, it took me a while to get around to writing this. I'm really sorry, everybody. But yeah, I finally got around to working on Soundtrack, and here is the next chapter. There will be one more chapter after this and then it's finished.**

**This is my first attempt at all dialogue, and with six characters, it's kind of interesting...enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I don't even own a car. **

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"I'm calling this meeting of the Revenge Seeking Vampires and One Human to order…"

"Emmett, just give it a rest. We all know why we're here."

"Why do I have to be singled out anyway? Why couldn't we just be the Revenge Seeking…um… beings?"

"Smooth, Bella, now he's never going to take this seriously."

"Oh, hush. Emmett, stop laughing or we'll pick something bad. Much better."

"Alice, what do you think we should get?"

"I don't know, I can't see her reactions because she hasn't decided to listen to whatever it is that we haven't picked yet."

"…Alice, you lost me."

"Even I got that, Emmett. Jeez."

"It doesn't matter if we understood that, we need to look at CDs if we're going to surprise her."

"Finally, some sense. Thank you, Jasper."

"Oh, come on, Edward. You have to admit that was pretty funny."

"Sure, I laughed, didn't I? But if we want to surprise her…"

"I know, I was just saying. So, where do we start?"

"How about in a store?"

"Finally, Emmett actually is contributing."

"Well, didn't anyone else see that coming?"

"I did!"

"Well duh_ you_ did, Alice…."

"Can we please hurry up and get there before I start laughing and make it so none of us can stop?"

"Jasper, I'm already going 90. I don't think-"

"EDWARD! 90??"

"Yes, 90, take it easy, Bella. You know I won't crash."

"Yeah…but…."

"Relax, Bella, you're making it difficult for me to stay sane."

"Oh. Sorry, Jasper."

"HEY! Look, we're here!"

"Well spotted, Sherlock."

"Thanks…Hey. That's not nice."

"Oh, just give it up, Emmett."

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**Thoughts? Share them! I don't bite...hard... **


	7. Going Down with a Bang

**Here it is, the last chapter of Soundtrack. Sorry it took so long (again), homework's been burying me alive. Hope you all like this!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight. I also don't own Consider This by Anna Nalick.**

* * *

I have to admit, I was not expecting the house to be as seemingly empty. I say seemingly because, only Carlisle and Esme said they had plans and all the cars were still here. Even Bella's truck. I bristled a bit at the thought, but shook it off. I needed to organize all my new shoes.

The various boxes and bags I carried all ended up on the floor. There was a small package on the bed; my curiosity was piqued. I unwrapped the object and found a CD with a note on top of it. I frowned a bit as I unfolded the note: either they had felt like returning the favor and giving me a random CD or they had figured me out and had picked one that fit me.

_Rose,_

_This lovely music is a gift from the RSVOH…or, as Bella calls it, the RSB. Either way, we bought it. Enjoy._

_-Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Bella_

Uh oh. I had no idea exactly what the…RSVOH or the RSB where, but the R probably stood for Revenge. Which meant they had put some thought into it. The little postscript that said to listen to track 11 only confirmed my suspicions. I sighed and put the CD into the player and skipped to the track.

_I've tripped again and things are starting to get interesting  
Don't give me choices cause I can't decide  
My mind is soaked in words  
I've come to terms with all my insecurities  
And purity's no friend of mine  
_

I frowned at the player. So they were seeking revenge. Everything I try not to think about was surfacing and flooding my mind.

All my insecurities: they're petty, I'll admit, but nonetheless…I still couldn't entirely understand Edward's preference for Bella. Not that I wanted him like that, I have Emmett. It's just that that's who I am. Who I've always been.

_And dreaming doesn't do no good  
Cause I don't wanna lie  
That I'm okay and I'm alright  
I'd rather take it and forget it  
Consider this a warning  
Cause I'll start another fight  
And you'll say its all alright  
I'll wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you, baby  
So lay your hands over me  
And feel what you only see  
But don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me  
_

Of all the things I loved about Emmett, one of my favorite things was that he accepted me, flawed as I was. He let me be me, self-centered, somewhat snobby (okay, a lot snobby), and insecure, in a way.

But the worst part is that I know that I'm like this. I know I'm pretty shallow, I know I value appearances more than anything, I know I'm not a wonderful person. I just can't change who I am. Edward's face, on the other hand, might not stay in the same condition. Well, if we weren't vampires, that is.

_You're kinda cool but I know better than to break the rules  
Of messin' with a lesson that I'll never learn  
I'll go from bad to worse and later back to better  
But I'll never better bridges that I'm bent to burn_

Sometimes, I wish that I was different. I wish that I had learned how to be a better person. But with time, I just feel like I'm getting worse. Bella's not helping the matter either. She can have everything I've ever wanted and she wants to throw it all away. Even I can understand why she's being stupid. Heck, I know it better than everyone else.

And dreaming doesn't do no good  
Cause I don't wanna lie  
That I'm okay and I'm alright  
I'd rather take it and forget it  
Consider this a warning  
Cause I'll start another fight  
And you'll say its all alright  
I'll wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you, baby  
So lay your hands over me  
And feel what you only see  
But don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me

This is a warning  
This is a warning  
This is a warning  


I need to change. I need to accept that things are what they are and make myself a better person. I don't want someone trying to make me change myself, but I can change of my own free will. The boxes of shoes on the floor behind me are staring at me, making me feel guilty. Maybe I'll donate some of them to charity or something. That's a start on the whole materialistic thing.

_  
And dreaming doesn't do no good  
__Cause I don't wanna lie  
That I'm okay and I'm alright  
I'd rather take it and forget it  
Consider this a warning  
Cause I'll start another fight  
And you'll say its all alright  
I'll wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you, baby  
So lay your hands over me  
And feel what you only see  
But don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me  
If you're trying to change me  
If you're trying to change me_

One step at a time. I'll make my own changes, no one can force me. And maybe, just maybe, in the end I'll be a better person.

But I'm not starting those changes today. Today, I'm going to get them for this. I might be aiming to change in the long run, but they didn't need to make me think about all my flaws. And _my _revenge starts with the person who wrote the damn note.

"EDWARD!"

* * *

**So, it's offically over folks. Reveiws are still much appreciated, but if I get any that say "update soon" or something of that sort, I may just scream. **

**However, you shouldn't be too long without anything from me. I have a future fic for Twilight in the works. It's going to be fun.**


End file.
